Grateful

Last night, I was reminded just how wonderful it is to have good friends in your life...no matter how far away they may be.

Just before 8pm, my hubby started pestering me to check my emails...under the guise of, "My sister copied you on something, did you get it?" I kept refreshing, to no avail...there was nothing new. After a few minutes of this, I started to get worried...but he wouldn't give me anymore hints.

Then all of a sudden, a mysterious email popped up in my Inbox, from a good friend of mine...

IT'S A BABY SHOWER FOR SPUD!

We thought you needed a baby shower so this was the only way we could do it - on-line!

So, start opening presents and show us what Spud got!

Compassion

In reading a quote from the Dalai Lama today (copied at the bottom of this blog), I started thinking about compassion. For some people, it comes naturally; for others, it's like speaking a foreign language. I used to think (perhaps naively) that all people aspired to be more compassionate towards others. Now, I'm more inclined to think the thought never even shows up on some people's radar screens.

You may have noticed I haven't written anything in the past few days...it's not for lack of happenings or realizations. In fact, the opposite is true. I'm just not sure I'm ready to share them yet, and my poker face has never been one of my strong points.

So for now, suffice to say that I agree with the Dalai Lama. And that I think the world would be a better place if everyone thought a little more about others, and a little less about themselves.

Developing genuine compassion for our loved ones is the obvious and appropriate place to start in our spiritual practice. The impact our actions have on our close ones will generally be much greater than on others, and therefore our responsibilities toward them are greater. Yet we need to recognize that, ultimately, there are no grounds for discriminating in their favor: all beings equally deserve our compassion.

My bump didn't lower my IQ

Basic chivalry/courtesy is great. I love seeing a teenager give up his seat on the bus for the elderly, or someone in a suit pausing to hold the door - even when they're obviously in a rush (I do have southern family, after all). Lately, however, I've begun to notice a change in people's attitudes towards me...once they realize I'm pregnant.

I had seen articles and books that said people (even strangers?) tend to get over-involved in pregnant women's business -- touching stomachs (eww!), giving unsolicited advice, telling horror stories about their own childbirth experiences, playing up the risks that exist during pregnancy (who knew deli meats were so dangerous?!).

I guess I just didn't realize these same people would automatically assume I became an idiot the moment the pregnancy test came back positive. (There's a great article from The Times on this subject as well, written by Kate Johnson a few years ago: Hey, I’m pregnant, not stupid.)

A quiet thing

Yesterday morning, I got to enjoy some rare moments of peace and quiet, before (most of) the rest of the house woke up. The puppy and I took a walk outside, just as pink and purple streaks were stretching across the sky, while hubby and the rest of our furkids snoozed inside. It was blissful.

It's been nearly a year since we moved to our new place in the country, and I'm just as pleasantly surprised by the stillness and tranquility now as I was then.


When we got this house, I must admit to being a little hesitant about moving so far away from the city. I'd lived in (or within about 10 miles of) NYC for 15 years by that point, so I had gotten used to a lot of conveniences. But my grandmother once told me, "Everyone should live in New York at least once...just don't stay there too long," and I think she was right. It was time for me to move on. I was ready.

Don't eat the whole banana leaf

My hubby uses this phrase all the time, particularly when I start to feel overwhelmed by the amount of things I need/want to get done. See, I have a habit of trying to "eat the whole banana leaf" all at once. If you've ever seen one, you'll understand what I mean....

(Those leaves can grow almost nine feet long and two feet wide. Talk about a mouthful!!)

What's important to you?

Compared to the amount of work I used to get done in a given day, I've become a lazy shadow of my former self. However, that's been kind of wonderful for me (in a strange way), because it's allowed me more time and freedom to think about things I've put off...in some cases, for years. I love coming up with grand plans and/or project ideas, but never seem to find time to follow through on them. My hubby is always telling me I deserve a break -- after all, I've been working hard (and consistently) for nearly 25 years now -- but I struggle to feel worthy.

With all the recent changes in my life, that's begun to change as well -- albeit in baby steps.

Perfection is overrated

Today, I've been constantly reminded of my desire to be perfect...and how much of a letdown it is when I realize it's never gonna happen. Trust me, this happens a lot.

In reading The Happiness Project (which I'll admit to having a slight obsession with at the moment), I've also started following Gretchen Rubin's blog -- and today, one thing she mentioned was:

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

These words really hit home for me, and have since I was a child.

Is happiness really that fleeting?

I started reading a new book on Sunday: The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun, by Gretchen Rubin. I love this book!

The last two that I finished (Somewhere Off the Coast of Maine by Ann Hood, and Beatrice and Virgil by Yann Martel) were somewhat disappointing...the former was a good read right up until the fizzled ending, but the latter was just strange - and not in a good way. Too bad, as I'd been looking forward to reading them both. (I did enjoy Life of Pi when I read it a few years ago, and it was written by the same author as Beatrice and Virgil.)

Thankfully, The Happiness Project is not only well-written, on a concept that's always intrigued me, but the author has a great combination of right-brain/left-brain going on that is fascinating to me. A former lawyer turned writer, writing a book on how to achieve more happiness in life? Sounds like exactly what I need to be reading right now (says the former Wall-Streeter turned soon-to-be-mother, writing a blog on the changes in my life)!

Motherhood and Choices

“...human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but...life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.”  

~Gabriel Garcia Marquez

This quote struck a chord with me today, as I've been thinking a lot about change, as well as mothers and what an influence they have over our lives. (Well, technically of course the quote didn't literally strike a chord...wow, if you think about it too hard, the English language can be strange sometimes, can't it?)



It's true, though, we spend our whole lives reinventing ourselves. I mean, I'm only 38 (only - ha!) and so far, I've already had two different careers (theatre & finance), am about to start a third (motherhood - yikes!)...and who knows what'll happen next. That's not even mentioning life-changes, of which there have been many (and likely will be many more). Change is ever-present, and I guess I must somehow be comforted by that, or I would have made plenty of different decisions throughout my life (moving to NYC at 23 years old -- with only two suitcases, $1,000 in the bank, and a promise I could sleep on a friend's couch -- springs to mind). 

How important is college?

Today, I thought I'd share with you a recent article by Michael Lind, posted on salon.com, which focuses on economics/education and how the measure of success has changed over the years. Interestingly, this subject has been a hot topic of discussion among my mom-friends (and soon-to-be-mom friends) lately as well. I'm curious to hear what you think.

There was never a question in my mind whether I would go to college, only how I was going to pay for it and what I would study. At 17, when I graduated high school, I had no answer for either...but I was lucky enough to get a scholarship and started taking liberal arts courses anyway.

Although I certainly don't regret graduating from college, I can't imagine my BFA in musical theatre had much effect on the advancement of my Wall Street career. I will, however, acknowledge that had I not received a diploma, it likely would have been difficult to get in the door of financial institutions and ultimately become a supervisory analyst. So having the degree did give me options I might not have had otherwise.

Books, books everywhere...and not a thing to read!

When I was little, my mom used to take me to the library about once a week and let me check out anything I wanted. The rule was that I could take as many books home as I was old (ie, 10 books when I was 10 years old, etc). The times I spent in that library are some of the most vivid memories I have from my childhood...mostly, I remember walking through the doors as we were leaving, trying my best to balance all those books in my arms, so impatient that I'd already started on the first one before my mom could get the engine running in her Oldsmobile station wagon. 

Changing priorities - an introduction

Welcome to Baby Steps Forward, we're so happy to have you here! Well, I'm happy anyway, because otherwise this whole blog thing would be an exercise in futility. I'm not sure who else will be happy, but if they are...then, great!

For those of you who don't know me (yet), I recently switched gears after 12 years on Wall Street, where most recently I was a Supervisory Analyst/Editor, embarking upon what I hope will be a fairly exciting journey...I'm going to be a mom for the first time, at 38 years old. In November. Well, we hope it's November...I mean, if she waits until December, I might just lose my mind! And yes, you read correctly, we're having a girl. (I can say "we" in that case, because my husband was definitely involved in that one!)