In reading The Happiness Project (which I'll admit to having a slight obsession with at the moment), I've also started following Gretchen Rubin's blog
-- and today, one thing she mentioned was:Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.These words really hit home for me, and have since I was a child.
I vividly remember getting an assignment in grade school to write a short story, and how excited I was because I always had ideas for that sort of thing floating around in my head. I started writing as soon as I got home that night. In no time, I had finished my story -- well before it was due in class -- but when I re-read it, I remember thinking I could do better. So I started another story. And another. And another. This went on until finally, the assignment was due...and I wasn't happy with any of the myriad stories I'd written. So I didn't turn in the assignment.
My teacher was pretty surprised by this (she knew I loved both reading and writing, and this should have been a breeze for me), but instead of telling her I'd written a bunch and didn't think they were any good...I just told her I hadn't finished the assignment. We were both disappointed in me (and I had to do a makeup assignment instead, which was so boring I've completely forgotten what it was).
This pattern has repeated itself throughout my life, this striving for perfection and paralyzing myself in the process, and it's always driven me crazy. Unfortunately, I don't always realize I'm doing it until I'm in the paralysis stage.
This week, for example...I'd planned to start getting back into my yoga practice, blogging every day, keeping the furkids on a schedule and not waiting until the last minute to finish my errands. So far, I'm 1 for 4 (I'll let you guess which one). Let's just say that our puppy needs a lot of exercise...and since she can't go back to the park yet (still recovering from her spay surgery), it's up to me to make sure she gets it. Think it worked today? (Don't worry, I know the cat's not as innocent as he's acting, either.)
On one hand, I'm trying to stay positive and recognize that getting one thing accomplished is better than nothing. But my natural response is to blast myself for not doing everything I said I was going to do...which tends to throw me into that familiar state of paralysis.
Here's where I'm hoping the Happiness Project will come in handy.
One of my resolutions is to stop trying to be perfect (although I should probably reframe this into something positive, given it's the "happiness project", not the "beat-myself-up-for-being-so-lazy project"). I've been thinking about this for awhile now (even the quote on my Facebook page is "Perfect is boring," courtesy of my cousin who relates to this dilemma), but there are many days in which I find myself losing sight of this goal.
It's a vicious cycle -- I tell myself not to worry about being perfect, then realize I'm still expecting perfection, which leads me to berate myself for not being perfect, then get irritated that I can't let go of this concept of perfection...sigh. Some days are better than others. Today was not one of them. Maybe tomorrow...at the very least, maybe our floors won't end up covered in shredded newspaper and cardboard.
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